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Love & Weather

by Josh Thorpe

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1.
When I went to high school, one of my friends had a haircut like a pop band from 1982. We used to go on long walks to talk about love. By the beach. I wrote I love so-and-so in the snow with my feet. I really don’t remember her name, and it was hard to say. Some years later she came to my new town. We kissed in the subway. I used to go to the weight room or the gym. I could benchpress 60 pounds. The other boys could benchpress more than that. I think they could benchpress 80 pounds. Oh Rita, George! I went to university. It was a long drive up a mountain. Sometimes we saw deer on the mountain. When we saw them everyone would say: “Oooo look at those deer. They’re so beautiful and where they go to no one knows.” We just sat looking at them. And sure enough they disappeared. I used to get rides up and down the mountain from people with cars. One was named Rita. Once she left her coffee on the roof of the car and drove away. And it was raining. She told me she wrote all her music while watching TV, and swore me to secrecy. I never told anyone until now. Oh Rita! I got rides with a red-headed Wiccan witch. I got rides with an entomologist who used to fry up grubs and eat them with his friends for lunch. And you know, I kept thinking: They put those grubs in their mouths? I got rides from a “cyberpunk” and a scholar of the Marquis de Sade. At the parking lot at night there were raccoons in the stairwell that hissed at people trying to get into their cars. They hissed at me too, even though I didn’t even have a car or anywhere to go to.They just sat there in the stairwell, hissing at me. And they stank like garbage. I used to get rides from one of the boys from my high school too. His name was George. When I called him in the morning to arrange the ride, his mother answered the phone. She said “Geoooorge, teleeeeefono, Geoooorge, teleeeeefono...” Then I couldn’t get that word out of my head. I kept saying, “Geoooorge, teleeeeefono, George...” Rita, you’ve left your coffee on top of the car and driven away.
2.
Manhattan 05:30
You once lived in midtown Manhattan, across the street from the YMCA. Trucks loaded and unloaded at night. The sound of the radiators hissed like a snake. We liked to go to the Pinnacle deli, walk to the river and look at the trams. Or United Nations with cops outside, or over the 2nd and catch a ride downtown. Days will be days, ways will be ways, times will be times, rain and sunshine. That’s what life’s like, that’s just the days and the nights. It’s like rays of light around the eyes. You live at Spring St. and Mott, meet friends every day at the coffee shop, talking about Andrea Martin and Martin Short, wearing velcro Pumas and khaki cords. I saw you in a Chelsea Gallery. You said the show got all fucked up. I walked back with headphones in my ears, and it was Murray St. all the way. Life will be life, mind will be mind, change will be change, some wine would be nice. That’s what it feels like, that’s just the darks and the lights. It’s that nice time of the night. You went to my favourite rock star’s party. He was turning 50 years old. “Is this a party I could attend, I said?” but you wouldn’t pay me no attention. We walked the big park at Jamaica Bay. There were bugs that bit and never died. You hit them very hard with your hand, and still they just flew away.
3.
You pull the sun right down to the ground for me babe. You put the stars in my eyes for me. You showed me the way down to the water, poured me some fine white wine in plastic glass. For me babe. And I know it’s gonna be alright. I see you dancing in the moonlight. I know it’s gonna be alright. I hear you whistling all the time. You beat the sun right down on my earth for me babe. You put ideas of all kinds in my head for me. You hit me with a skillet ‘til songbirds flew around my head for me. You pulled the rug right out from under me, and then comfort me for me. And I know it’s gonna be alright. I see you dancing in the moonlight. I know it’s gonna be alriiiiight. I hear you whistling all the time.
4.
Why Try 07:19
We’re crying baby, ‘cuz the President sucks, and the Prime Minister’s fucked and all the people in high places are just feeling each other up. And they’re laughing at us ‘cuz we’re sat on our hands trying flip each other the bird. Or making foolish banter that doesn’t even matter. And spinning half-truths so fast we can’t catch them, and we don’t even try. And we don’t even care where we’re heading or what we’re hearing, and we feel very tired. And we wanna go home and go to bed, and pull up the covers over our noses. Or get away to some sweet hideaway and sleep for all our lives. But there’s nowhere to hide ‘cuz the countryside is littered with broken bottles and trashed tractors. And the polar bears are coming south, moving into town, sitting on the grass, eating trash like the rest of us. And corrupted countries dig diamonds, burn coal, wage war and make pink flamingos turn white. Why try? Aw shit. The world has gone sideways so fast man. Everybody’s kicking dogs and throwing cats in trashcans, stepping into puddles, walking into walls, falling down the stairs. And then you die. Even lovers seem to lose faith in love. And praise evil doctrines or preach hate and shoot people in the streets or abuse power in any way to give way to rampant inequality and make claims in bad faith and all the meanness of spirit, it seems there’s a meanness in the air. And we’re trying to squeeze it out of our eyes. Why try?
5.
High up in the clouds feels nice. The moon is heavy and light. The darkness warms the deepening of the night. The only thing I wanted more of was time. Late in the night, on the stillest sea, in a sweet little row boat, far from the city, I get warm feelings from you. You get warm feelings from it too. And the dolphins, and the cephalopods down deep in the sea, their suckers quivering and their fins moving sweetly, they give bright meanings to you and me. We give bright meanings to them down deeply. The swaying grasses and the weeping willow tree, the shaking beeches and the honeysuckle in the breeze, they give us feelings likely to please. And in autumn we like the smell of the burning leaves. I saw a Scottish deerhound, walking backwards, an Irish wolfhound lying down, the electric fence that keeps in the cows, we try to touch it, but we get shocked. I was walking along the beach. I thought I saw two seals or three. The way the driftwood was piled so high, the only thing I wanted more of was time. High up in the clouds feels nice. The moon is heavy and light. The darkness warms the deepening of the night. The only thing I wanted more of was time.
6.
I want to climb the mountain, fall asleep in the pines. I want to swim in the ocean, and it’s you I want to find. It’s you I want to find. This happens all the time. I want to get closer. I want to deepen my mind. I want to run like a deer in the woods. I want to fly. I want blow over the mountain tops, and whistle all the time, and whistle all the time...

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Simple song structures with room for noise. Words that drift.

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released February 5, 2021

Josh Thorpe: singing, guitar, keyboards
Rory Haye: bass vi, guitar, keyboards
Owen Curtis Williams: drums

Recorded and mixed by Luigi Pasquini at Dystopia Glasgow

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Josh Thorpe Glasgow, UK

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